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In the fiery ring of jealousy


That feeling comes suddenly and completely retract its orbit all your thoughts and desires. It is huge and so much that you lose the taste for life and not notice the joy of communication with others, and more frightening - with a favourite person. Suddenly you for itself turns into another, a stranger neither you nor your beloved Rights: From a charming girl, smart and understands the conversation, sensitive girlfriend you become anger, brutal, one-sided and crossly hysteria , opposing themselves and others. This transformation is called the evil genius of jealousy. Who of women are not familiar with this feeling? Each of us at least once in her life known sizzling heat. In order not to burn in the flames and maintain relations with a man dear to us, try to understand themselves and the causes that provoke outbreaks of jealousy.First, get rid of guilt. Jealousy is like a disease rather than the manifestation of bad character. Try to forgive ourselves for what can not manage jealousy, to control it. You - not the first nor the last, faced with this disease. You can be sure of its win, but it will require the will and patience.Secondly, choose a day when nobody and nothing will distract you from yourself - beloved. Stay home that day, create a calm environment in the room with a little muted light, music and quiet aromalamp. If you feel comfortable in nature - even in the short walking on the beloved terrain. It is very important that no one prevented you to focus on their own feelings. The main thing is that you feel that you are ready to look inside themselves without fear.Psychologists, dealing with female jealousy, came to the conclusion that it causes can be hidden deep in childhood, when a child has not yet managed their feelings, much less, no understanding of them. Remember the episode from childhood, when you first felt the burning sense of resentment and jealousy, try to re-establish its cause.Often jealousy appears along with a second child in the family. Parents, and especially loves your mother, suddenly newid attention is not on you, and the bride seized from bothersome infant. Then a senior child and ask questions: "Like whether I remain?", "What I blame that I pay less attention?". Children are different: if the baby is open , he talk about your thoughts mom, and then it will be able to help him: comfort, to talk with him, will try to pay more attention to, or even better - will help take care of newborns, of course, depending on opportunities. Children from 5 years and is very hardworking postarshe: they are ready to wash diapers, wash the floors, dishes ... and so on. It does not matter that this mother had to wipe puddles on the floor - most importantly, that a child feels useful and thus able to express their love. If a senior kid can take part in caring for the newborn, brother or sister cease to be for him and hostile alien creature to climb all the parental love. These children are not so prone to outbursts of jealousy in the future. But how can be with those who are less fortunate in childhood, whose mom was so busy that no senior child saw in this sense? Or, the child is secretive by nature, he showed all of its type that likes young, but in the soul - felt disadvantaged, and offended brutalise of jealousy? Do these children jealousy only slightly over the years, or may never occur, but unexpectedly, in adulthood, when he already has a very family suddenly hit with such force that life will not miles. If this - just your case, the first thing you need to try to forgive themselves and their parents. Take it from the heart. Your mom does not blame that has not been able to assist you in childhood, when you are so in need. Now, when all in the past, remove from the soul stone resentment. How soon will be easy to live freely and joyfully. After all, you have already successfully launched a sense of jealousy on the first blow.The second step will be the destruction of their own stereotypes. Recall that even as girls, you felt - every guy jealous, then loves. If you revnuete - means love. Jealousy is being presented to us soap operas, talk shows and novels love something like the first symptom of love. But this is not the case. Jealousy denies lover of liberty, and no matter what it is directed against: against pretty secretary, his relatives, children from first marriage, friends, hobbies over his work, etc.True love is designed to help rid of all the shackles and enjoy each other, their lives, boiling over. Very correct and advanced in this regard was the hippie philosophy with their concept of free love. If you look at their philosophy deeper, for the good citizens of shocking sexual experiments you can see the idea of eternal love, free from jealousy, envy, fear and hatred.Often the root jealousy is the fear that you do not cherish. This fear appears as a consequence of low self-esteem. Sometimes he "foundation of" from childhood, so we have said. If you feel loser, I'm afraid to engage in favorite thing and try to keep "in step" with those who, in your opinion, more lucky, beautiful and talented. As a result, at the subconscious level, you choose a man who prepared to bow before that can be proud of. It is in your eyes offset your weaknesses. But at heart you afraid that you to cease to love that there is a woman, more clever, beautiful, attractive, which will be more worthy of your men than you. This fear can quickly drive into a corner from which escape is not easy. Try to get into the true nature of this feeling. Everyone sees the world as its small galaxy: it - the sun, while all the other people - the planet that steep around and depend on its heat and light.Being in this illusion, we are very surprised when some "planet" from our "galaxy" suddenly ceases to obey and behaves is not the case, as we define it. There is resentment, jealousy, fear that we will leave. If you look at things more, you can see that everyone with whom we more or less close to communicate, also identified the trajectory on which we must great. And often it outlined limit does not coincide with our own view of themselves. Exit at once simple and complex: how to perceive the human as it is and not what you want to see. Then all will be to their seats.Recommendations to address the low self-esteem, insecurity in itself in the current literature on popular psychology - a lot. For example, Feng-shui, Carnegie method, etc. Most of them are based on the upbringing of love for yourself. One of the effective methods is the same and creativity. The best therapy - is a favourite occupation affair. Rate of modern life sometimes does not leave us at this time - we are afraid to earn less money, to miss the offer, without end postponed at the side of what makes harmony in the soul. Meanwhile, life passes in debts and obligations. Stop, think: whether satisfaction with your work and the things on which you spend your time? If not, change their lives. You - free man, and have done their existence unbearable, hence, and be able to change it for the better. Stop kill themselves deal with and feel a victim. Not sake lover sacrifice you something, but only for themselves. Falling in love with themselves, allow yourself to do something that was denied earlier. Then you can better understand and satellite life and do not leave your soul in the ground for jealousy, rusting all very good and well that deprives you of joy and calm. click here
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